There are few things in football more tragic— okay, I mean funnier— than a hard done by Manchester United fan. On the off chance a decision goes against them, and double points if it happens at Old Trafford, you can hear them. From Essex to Thailand, the bemoaning is from the same hymn sheet. The Good Book of Fergie has been translated into more languages than The Bible (allegedly). I wouldn’t be surprised if we were visited from beings beyond our galaxy and their first words were, “He shouldn’t be reffing at this level, that was a disgrace.”
Their symphony of caterwauling was heard around the world after Real Madrid beat ‘Man Yoo’ in the Champions League. Of course, what went wrong was when Cuneyt Cakir had the temerity to send off a Man Yoo player. At home! Where was Hans Blix when you needed him? Stuff North Korea, this was the real danger, Hans. Sure, had Arbeloa not jumped, he’d have got Nani’s boot in his throat but this is Old Trafford, you just don’t do that Cakir.
And of course, that cost Man Utd the game. Not the way Mourinho reacted quickly to the sending off by adjusting his formation, nor Fergie’s hesitance in changing his. It was the sending off that knocked Man Utd out of the Champions League. ‘Oh yes, it was!’ sings the chorus. And boy, did we hear about it.
Now, I live in Manchester and support a struggling midlands team. To be honest, on the whole, Man Utd fans in Manchester are wonderful, knowledgeable supporters of the beautiful game. However, I have found, and this isn’t exclusive to Man Utd, fans who aren’t from here have a reputation for being annoying. What irritates me most about them is their sense of entitlement. As if they have a right to be in the latter stages of the Champions League, be in the top one the league and have all decisions go their way.
Oh you’re knocked out of a highly lucrative competition that you’ll be in next year? Boo-hoo-hoo. Come back to me when your team gets relegated or goes into administration. Come back to me when you know your best players have been sold for pittance so you can dent your debts.
As I say to glory hunters: I’m not a better fan than you; I’m a different fan. In a parallel universe, my strugglers are the most successful team in England, with the largest stadium, the largest trophy cabinet, the most lucrative sponsorship deals, pay tens of millions in transfer fees, and where the newly appointed head of the FA is a fan. In that same universe, Man Utd are a struggling Football League side who have won one trophy in their history and are ‘financially embarrassed’. In that universe, I am still a fan of my under-performing side, but there is no way on earth you would be a Man Utd fan.
Perhaps I’m just old and jaded. We have the red button generation now, where you can choose which game to watch and choose who to cheer on. At least my friends who support Man Utd, Arsenal and Chelsea always cheer on my club as well. And it isn’t limited to the big clubs; even Liverpool fans cheer us on.
Still, if we can’t have a sense of entitlement, what can we have? A sense of perspective, that’s what.
Tales From The Cynical Side 
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