“With White Male Privilege…..Comes Great Responsibility”

Yeah, shit title, I know.

I’m a white, heterosexual male and I’ve got it relatively easy. The only way I’d have it easier would be if I wasn’t working class. Compared to people of a different colour, I’ve got it easy. Compared to people of a different nationality, I’ve got it easy. Compared to people of a different gender, I’ve got it easy.

Privilege is like money, it becomes an issue when you don’t have it. It’s easy for us white, heterosexual males to assume that everyone is treated the same. To be fair, people are treated the same by WHM’s generally. They are treated with an air of contempt for wanting to do away with our privilege.

I consider myself to be a Feminist. I’m sure some people would say I’m not, but I’m “Pro-Feminist”, either way, that’s their call. I consider myself to be a leftie as well. Again, others may not but that’s their call. I AM Pro-Choice, that’s not really a matter of discussion.

So, when I read Mehdi Hasan’s piece, Being pro-life doesn’t make me any less of a lefty, I squirmed.  Mainly because I disagreed with it wholeheartedly.  Also because I always feel uncomfortable when a man tries to tell a woman what she can and can’t do with her own body. It’s as if men have some kind of, I dunno, privilege to interfere.

As strongly as I feel about issues of inequality, I know there can be the wrong way to go about it.  If I start telling women how they are victims of discrimination, inequality and are one of the groups of people on the wrong end of a WHM stick, I’ll be chastised as a privileged wanker, and rightly so.  How patronising it must be.  And there’s the rub.  I’ll never know what it’s actually like to be the victim time and again.  Sure there may be isolated incidents but, on the whole, our society has a culture that is geared towards the benefit of white heterosexual males.

So, what can us WHM’s who are concerned with the lack of balance do?  If you want to do something, do something about our privilege.  Equality will only come if WHM’s cede territory, for want of a better expression.  I’m nowhere near perfect, I’m sure I still use gender stereotypes from time to time but thankfully, my wife is on hand to tell me why what I say or do is a problem.  She tells me things from her perspective, a perspective that I will never truly understand due to privilege.

Most WHM’s I know talk a good fight, they have the best intentions in the world.  However, time and again they say or do something that I find objectionable.  Usually it is dismissed as my most hated word, “Banter”.  Sometimes, my objections are met with a fresh understanding as to why people might find it questionable.  Sometimes I’m told I’m too PC.  I’ve even been called a traitor to my gender and that I suffer from “Penis Shame”.  That’s fine, I can live with that.

What I can’t live with is to do fuck all about it.  It’s the easiest thing to do isn’t it?  To call for equality across gender, race and sexuality when you’re a WHM.  I’m not going to tell people who aren’t WHM’s how they’re being persecuted, they know that already most of the time.  What I’ll do is to tell other WHM’s how we are the problem.  As long as other WHM’s hold prejudices, or aren’t aware that they are perpetrators of Everyday Sexism, then that’s what we can do.  It’s far more effective and less damaging than Mansplaining.

We should take responsibility for our own space in society.  Ours is one of privilege, we should use that privilege to eliminate that privilege.

Of Course He’s Innocent, He Plays For My Team

I love football.

As a Coventry City fan, that is surely an oxymoron.  It isn’t just on the pitch where I love the game, I love talking about it with friends and fellow fans.  There is, however, a danger in being a fan of football.  People might think that you are a “Football Fan”.

I make the distinction between the two because there is a separation.  Never is that separation more abundantly clear than when a scandal involving a Footballer hits the headlines, and indeed the courts.  Football has a very tribal nature.  “Insult my team or a member of my team and you insult me and my city/country” is the approach from the aforementioned “Football Fan”.  The fan of football tends to take a more balanced approach.

I’ve noticed it recently with the John Terry Court Case regarding racially abusing QPR defender Anton Ferdinand, and how opinion has differed even before the CPS had charged Terry.  John Terry is no saint, he had a very public extra marital affair with team mate Wayne Bridge’s girlfriend Vanessa Perroncel.  However, in the usual misogynistic view of the “Football Fan”, JT was a proper laaad and Ms Perroncel was a slaaag, probably out for money.  More on this mindset later.

The way that elements of the Chelsea support were so sure of Terry’s innocence, and the way elements of QPR’s support, and indeed many people who dislike Terry and/or Chelsea were sure of his guilt (either based on their support for another team, or the TV footage showing the incident) reminded me of the staunch, trenchant stance taken by both Manchester United and Liverpool fans regarding a similar incident where Liverpool’s Luis Suarez racially abused Man Utd’s Patrice Evra.  (The situation was further inflamed  a few months later when Suarez refused to shake Evra’s hand earlier this year when the teams met at Old Trafford.)

Many Liverpool fans were, and still are, very vocal and visual with their support for one of their own.  Many Man Utd fans were quick to support Evra’s claim that he was racially abused.  Like Terry, Suarez was no saint.  He first came to attention of many fans when, in the dying minutes of the 2010 World Cup Quarter Final, his deliberate handball stopped a certain goal for Ghana, who subsequently missed the resulting spot kick.  Suarez compounded his Panto villain status by celebrating the miss as he was walking down the tunnel.  Whilst playing for Ajax the following season, Suarez received a 7 game ban for biting an opponent.

Liverpool stood by their player, most notably by the team wearing shirts with the image and number of Suarez in the warm up for a match.  There were many Liverpool “Football Fans” felt it was their duty to do the same, irrespective of guilt.  He was one of their guys so they had to show solidarity.  Likewise, Suarez was already guilty in the eyes of the “Football Fans” of Man Utd.  I daresay had it been Javier Hernandez calling Glen Johnson “Negrito” 8 times, both sets of fans would have been equally supportive of their player, albeit from the other side of the coin.

That’s what bothers me most about “Football Fans” is the lack of being objective.  Even my own side, Coventry City, have signed a player who courted controversy.  Coventry signed the talented free agent and registered sex offender Marlon King after his release from prison.  King polarised a lot of the support at Coventry, many were critical of signing a multiple criminal and the nature of his crimes.  Others adopted the approach that he had served his time and deserved a second, or third chance.  It was the “he’s one of ours so support him” mentality that I mentioned earlier.

King was a success at Coventry, he was top scorer despite only signing halfway through the season.  He was signed on a short term deal and that deal was close to running out.  Then King did something unforgivable in the eyes of the Coventry “Football Fans”, he turned down a new deal and signed for local rivals Birmingham City for a reported 50% wage increase.

This was too much for some of the Coventry fans.  He was a Judas and a scumbag.  It seems that being sent to prison for Sexual Assault is forgivable but signing for another club for more money?  Utterly sickening.  What a horrible man you are, Marlon King.

In fairness, there were pockets of Coventry fans who taunted King whilst playing for Coventry with chants of “She Said No, Marlon”.  However, there were also the flipside where, as Tweeter TheBluestStar will tell you, fans were calling King’s victim a slag.  That is another horrible constant of the “Football Fan”.  Rampant misogyny and victim blaming.  This can be seen by the response to professional footballer Ched Evans being found guilty of rape.

I’m not going to link them here as I don’t want to give them the virtual oxygen that they crave.  There are people on Twitter who are convinced that Evans is innocent based on victim blaming, not understanding what consent is and, probably the most important factor for them, the team he played for.  It all goes back to the “One of ours” tribal mentality coupled with the misogynistic view that “Birds are only after a one night stand with Footballers so that they can sell their stories.  Slags”.  Had Evans played for Sheffield Wednesday and not Sheffield United, I sincerely doubt the rape apologists and victim blamers professing his innocence would still be doing so.  But, of course he’s innocent, he plays for my team.