“With White Male Privilege…..Comes Great Responsibility”

Yeah, shit title, I know.

I’m a white, heterosexual male and I’ve got it relatively easy. The only way I’d have it easier would be if I wasn’t working class. Compared to people of a different colour, I’ve got it easy. Compared to people of a different nationality, I’ve got it easy. Compared to people of a different gender, I’ve got it easy.

Privilege is like money, it becomes an issue when you don’t have it. It’s easy for us white, heterosexual males to assume that everyone is treated the same. To be fair, people are treated the same by WHM’s generally. They are treated with an air of contempt for wanting to do away with our privilege.

I consider myself to be a Feminist. I’m sure some people would say I’m not, but I’m “Pro-Feminist”, either way, that’s their call. I consider myself to be a leftie as well. Again, others may not but that’s their call. I AM Pro-Choice, that’s not really a matter of discussion.

So, when I read Mehdi Hasan’s piece, Being pro-life doesn’t make me any less of a lefty, I squirmed.  Mainly because I disagreed with it wholeheartedly.  Also because I always feel uncomfortable when a man tries to tell a woman what she can and can’t do with her own body. It’s as if men have some kind of, I dunno, privilege to interfere.

As strongly as I feel about issues of inequality, I know there can be the wrong way to go about it.  If I start telling women how they are victims of discrimination, inequality and are one of the groups of people on the wrong end of a WHM stick, I’ll be chastised as a privileged wanker, and rightly so.  How patronising it must be.  And there’s the rub.  I’ll never know what it’s actually like to be the victim time and again.  Sure there may be isolated incidents but, on the whole, our society has a culture that is geared towards the benefit of white heterosexual males.

So, what can us WHM’s who are concerned with the lack of balance do?  If you want to do something, do something about our privilege.  Equality will only come if WHM’s cede territory, for want of a better expression.  I’m nowhere near perfect, I’m sure I still use gender stereotypes from time to time but thankfully, my wife is on hand to tell me why what I say or do is a problem.  She tells me things from her perspective, a perspective that I will never truly understand due to privilege.

Most WHM’s I know talk a good fight, they have the best intentions in the world.  However, time and again they say or do something that I find objectionable.  Usually it is dismissed as my most hated word, “Banter”.  Sometimes, my objections are met with a fresh understanding as to why people might find it questionable.  Sometimes I’m told I’m too PC.  I’ve even been called a traitor to my gender and that I suffer from “Penis Shame”.  That’s fine, I can live with that.

What I can’t live with is to do fuck all about it.  It’s the easiest thing to do isn’t it?  To call for equality across gender, race and sexuality when you’re a WHM.  I’m not going to tell people who aren’t WHM’s how they’re being persecuted, they know that already most of the time.  What I’ll do is to tell other WHM’s how we are the problem.  As long as other WHM’s hold prejudices, or aren’t aware that they are perpetrators of Everyday Sexism, then that’s what we can do.  It’s far more effective and less damaging than Mansplaining.

We should take responsibility for our own space in society.  Ours is one of privilege, we should use that privilege to eliminate that privilege.